Simply Irresistible (Crescent Cove Book 2) Page 17

  My half smile did not lighten my heart. “You know this isn’t real.”

  He nodded slowly. “It’s not like other marriages, but it feels real to me.”

  I leaned away from him so I could study his face, which gave nothing away. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that we’re here together, starting something new. I don’t know where this is going, but I want to find out.”

  That stilled my pulse. “I want to find out, too.”

  He turned to fully face me, his gaze intent on mine. “You mean that?”

  What did I truly mean? In many ways, I stood on that cliff in Acadia we’d climbed as kids. As if I could step closer and trust, or hold myself back and cling to the trees, but never fully find my potential.

  Unsure how far I dared take this, I took the chicken route. “What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”

  Roan stared into my eyes long enough, I melted inside. His gaze drifted to my lips. My shoulders. Turning to face the bar again, he sipped his beer. “I thought for tomorrow, we could try something daring.”

  “No snow here for sledding.”

  He shot me a sly look. “How about we keep tomorrow’s activities a surprise?”

  Another surprise. The last one had turned out fun, so why not? “You planning on blindfolding me this time?”

  “I will if you want.” Voice husky, he leaned close to my ear. “You, ah, like the idea of blindfolds?”

  Why did he have to ask me that? My imagination took over, picturing me with my eyes covered, my other senses taking over like long ago when we were in college. Smell, taste, touch; they overwhelmed me.

  Roan waved a hand in front of my face. “Cara? You with me here?”

  Damn, was I ever. But I needed to locate some control before I slid off the stool and drifted away in the water. Raising my drink, I toasted him. “I’m game for whatever’s on the agenda.”

  “Then let’s have the time of our lives while we’re here in Costa Rica.” He touched his drink against mine. “There are tons of things we can do over the next few days. Even cliff jumping.”

  Ugh.

  “Hey,” he said. “Remember when we followed the railroad tracks and jumped off the bridge into the lake? That was true daring.”

  I laughed. “You jumped into the lake. I stood at the top, staring down, wondering if I’d ever get up the nerve to do it.”

  He grinned. “You jumped.”

  “After considerable persuasion.” He’d snuck up behind me. Scooping me up in his arms, he’d plunged over the side, taking me down along with him. Roan always had been there to encourage me to stretch my boundaries.

  “You loved it.”

  “You’re right.” We’d climbed back up and jumped off again. All by myself the second time, because I wanted to do it. And because I’d discovered that my skin tingled whenever he touched me, and I needed to avoid that at all costs.

  At sixteen, Roan in a bathing suit was highly distracting. Overnight, he’d gone from tall and skinny to ripped. Hardly seemed fair, since I still felt plump and flat-chested.

  Being held in his arms had sparked racy ideas in my teenage mind, and my cheeks had flamed. Roan had teased me about my sunburn, oblivious of the effect he had on me.

  He’d remained equally oblivious throughout college. Probably remained that way still today.

  “Tell me more about all that hot sauce you’re making,” I said.

  He told me about his expansion throughout New England, how he loved tweaking his grandmother’s family recipes and experimenting with unusual ingredients.

  Since it was getting late, and our plans included an early pickup, we headed back to the room.

  I’d decided to fall back to the Cara I’d been before I discovered how hot Roan was. Like when we were fourteen. Or ten. If I pretended he was still the kid who’d shared my interest in crickets and puppies, I might be able to hold myself together.

  Inside the room, I took the bathroom first. When I emerged in my PJs, Roan sat on the bed in his boxers, scrolling on his tablet.

  “All yours,” I said.

  “Thanks.” He tossed the device onto the bedside table.

  We slowed while passing in the hall.

  I swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump that clogged my throat in response to his nearness. He was practically naked, and he smelled wonderful, like fresh air, but mostly just male. The combination was heady and addictive. “I’ll, umm, probably be asleep when you come out.”

  Like that had worked out in the heart-shaped bed.

  He paused in the bathroom doorway, his back facing me. “Not waiting up to tell me a bedtime story?”

  Lust flushed through me when I imagined what type of bedtime story I’d like to tell him. A tactile one.

  I needed to stop this train of thought before it took over. There were no handy distractions to drag my mind away from the fact that the rest of the evening included me, Roan, and a bed.

  “Cara?” he asked.

  “I’ll see you in the morning.” I kept my eyes trained on the floor and my voice neutral. “Okay?”

  His hand rose, before dropping back to his side. “Sure. Night.” Entering, he shut the bathroom door behind him.

  He left me and my rebellious hormones alone in the hall.

  Roan

  The next morning, we showered and went down to the restaurant for breakfast, filling our plates with bacon and eggs and crazy-looking fruit from the buffet. Our driver picked us up for our first excursion not long after we finished.

  “Where are we going?” Cara stared out the window as we pulled away from Baldi. The driver took us through town and out on a smaller backroad.

  “Not saying.”

  She pretend-scowled. “No blindfolds, I see.”

  If only.

  Thirty minutes later, we pulled up to a building with a sign reading, Cloud Tram.

  “Tram.” Cara gnawed on her nail. “Is that, like, a gondola? And what does the cloud part of all this mean?” She directed her deep gray eyes at me. “If it’s just a gondola, I can handle that. That’s essentially a glass-encased chairlift, right?”

  I nodded, but today was a lot more about what happened after the gondola ride.

  We got out of the cab and, as we approached the main building, the sign gave her a better idea.

  Stalling on the path, she spun and gaped at me. “Ziplining?” Her voice rose to a screech, and people standing nearby glanced our way. “We’re going ziplining?”

  “You did suggest daring.” How would she take this? “I’d love it if you did this with me, but if you want to sit in the lodge sipping beer instead…”

  She scowled. “You set me up.”

  “No blindfold this time.”

  Her lips twisted, but I was thankful when her eyes twinkled. “Might’ve been easier if I couldn’t see a damn thing.”

  Leaning close, I took in the light, flowery scent coming off her hair, plus that subtle hint of vanilla that was all Cara. “I challenge you to do it.”

  “A challenge is riding a horse or patting a snake. It’s not dangling my body from a thin cable a billion miles in the sky.” She gulped. “I could get hurt.”

  I held out my hand, unsure if she’d slap it or take it. “Do you trust me?”

  Her expression softened. “Yeah.” The fact that she didn’t hesitate warmed my heart. “But I’m scared.”

  “I’ll hold your hand.”

  “When I jump off the edge?”

  “Then and always.”

  Her pert chin lifted, but her lips trembled. “Okay, then. Let’s do it.”

  We walked up to a desk, where two men stood, joking around.

  “Hola,” one said.

  “Pura vida,” said the other.

  “Appointment for Jenson. Two to zipline,” I said.

  “Great to see you here.” One handed us leather harnesses, while the other fitted us with black helmets.

  We took our equipment off to the side to get ready. I he
lped Cara step into the harness structure then buckled the helmet strap underneath her chin. I did not tweak her nose, though I was tempted. She was too damn cute for my heart rate to handle.

  Truly, if she’d balked about this, we’d be sitting on the deck overlooking the mountains with a couple of beers sweating in front of us. While I’d love to zipline, it would only be half as much fun without Cara.

  “Ready?” A man with a tag reading Juan strolled toward us, his ruddy face filled with cheer.

  “Just a sec,” I said.

  “Please join the group when you’ve finished getting ready.”

  In no time, I’d tugged the harness system up and around my body, strapping the belt at my waist. Leather crossed below my groin but split open in the front. In another life, the crotch-less aspect of this might be appealing, like an industrial thong. Or, on the reverse, a Medieval torture device. Cara’s snicker feathered across my skin, giving me goosebumps. Big clips jangled on my front, ready to attach me to the pulley system.

  “Lookin’ sweet,” Cara said, her gaze gliding down my front. Her lips twitched.

  If only I could taste her grin. Instead, I took her hand, tugging her toward the others waiting for our zip tour.

  “Okay, everyone,” Juan said when we joined the three other couples plus a gray-haired man. Juan fingered the large clip dangling from his belt. “We’ll do a short run first to warm everyone up. If anyone wants to quit after that, that’s the time to do it. Once we start, there’s no turning back, because we’ll cross the valley and it’s a long hike to the lodge. No vehicles out there, either.”

  We followed Juan and a man introduced as Jesus, around the side of the building, where we climbed a short flight of stairs to the first platform. A thick cable stretched across an open area ahead of us, connecting us to a platform about two-hundred feet away.

  Cara leaned into my side. “That run looks about twenty feet above the ground.” Her lips thinned, but she didn’t back away. “I’m not sure…”

  I squeezed her hand. “If you want out, speak now.”

  “If I’m going to do this, I need to stop gauging distances or my knees will turn to mush.” She nudged her chin toward our group, who back-slapped each other. “They look like they’re happy to take on a life-threatening event. No reason I can’t feel the same, right?”

  Jesus climbed a small set of stairs, clipped his pulley to the cable, and jumped off the platform. The line wailed as he zipped to the other side.

  “A snap,” I said.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “And who will go first?” Juan glanced back.

  Cara surprised me by lifting her hand. Catching the shock on my face, her expression said so there as she sauntered over to Juan. He helped her climb onto the small wooden rise, bringing her closer to the cable. I followed and watched as he clipped her to the pulley. He called out, “Jesus?”

  The other man waved his arm. “Any time.”

  Cara hung suspended with her knees bent, ankles crossed. Juan placed her leather-gloved hands one-by-one onto the bar spanning the pulley. He explained how to rock it to slow her speed as she approached the other platform. “You won’t need to do that for most of the runs. Just the longer, steeper ones.”

  “They get longer and steeper?” she said, high-pitched. “This one’s exciting enough for me.”

  Juan laughed, but Cara wasn’t joking. “All set?”

  She nodded, probably too terrified to speak again.

  “Enjoy.” Humor spilled into Juan’s voice. “And fly.”

  He let her go, and she started to coast.

  “Oh, God! I’m going to pee myself,” she wailed.

  I stepped up to go behind her, needing to get to the other side to make sure she didn’t collapse on the metal decking after her run. If she asked, I’d walk back with her to the base lodge, if one run was enough.

  Juan set me up and then released me.

  Gravity dropped away. My body plunged down, tugging on the cable, then surged forward, gaining speed. Vegetation blurred past me. The ground felt light years away. I dipped low and whizzed along the cable, rocking, moving fast. The pulley squealed overhead, the wind hit my face, and I swayed in the harness.

  My pulley clunked against a thick, rubber mass surrounding the cable, jolting my body to a halt. Jesus snagged my harness, and I stopped swaying.

  Freakin’ awesome.

  Jesus unclipped my pulley and handed it to me. He waved for me to wait beside the rail on the edge of the platform. I strolled over to join Cara, who leaned back with her elbows propped on the wooden structure.

  “How was it? Want to stop? Or do you want more?”

  She stared up at me, unfettered joy shining on her face. “Oh, I want more, all right.”

  “You do, do you?” I wanted to kiss her but didn’t dare. “I love a woman with adventure in her soul.”

  Cara

  Death was about to flash before my eyes.

  The longest zip run of the day awaited me. I’d take my turn after the gray-haired man. Roan would follow.

  Standing beside Roan at the rail, I tipped my head back and stared at the canopy of trees overhead. In the distance, a howler monkey let loose an eerie roar. During today’s adventure, we’d seen a sloth making his slow climb up a tree, a king vulture soaring the sky, and an emerald basilisk lizard that was also known as the Jesus Christ lizard, because of its skill in running across water.

  Roan draped his arm around my shoulder. “Still having fun?”

  I nodded. Like when we’d gone sledding, this day had been fantastic. Who would’ve thought that challenging my fear could make me feel free?

  If I didn’t take chances, I wouldn’t get hurt. Like I’d been hurt years ago when I’d trusted Roan one special night. But if I isolated myself, I didn’t truly live, and I wanted to pull whatever I could out of life. After moving to California, it had been too easy to let Jason determine my fate. But Jason was no longer here to tell me what to do.

  For the first time in a long time, my fate was my own.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I faced Roan.

  His teeth flashed white. “Ziplining takes things beyond even my comfort zone.”

  “I’m glad you talked me into that first run.” Jason would never have suggested something like this. Actually, he wouldn’t have allowed me to do it.

  Allowed. If Jason was here, he’d tell me to climb off the platform, remove my helmet, and go back to the hotel. That I was stupid to endanger my life for a twenty-second thrill.

  In fact, Jason wouldn’t have come to Costa Rica at all. His idea of a dream vacation had been palatial resorts where his every need was indulged. He’d spend his days in the spa, his nights at the bar. Or we’d stay home, where I’d keep the house tidy, occupy Arie so she stayed out of his way, and bake my husband’s favorite treats. While he explored the latest video game, played poker with his buddies, and slept until noon.

  To think I’d vowed to continue pleasing him beyond the grave.

  I couldn’t let my vow hold me back any longer. It was a foolish promise, made out of guilt and in haste. I never should’ve taken it on.

  But how did I let go of the guilt for not loving him?

  “You’re up next.” Jesus waved for me to approach the edge of the platform.

  My clips in place on the wire, he tapped my back. “Go, go.”

  Admitting I enjoyed this didn’t make leaping off the platform any less gut-wrenching. I might as well plunge off a cliff without a parachute.

  Or relinquish every scrap of control and trust my future to whatever life gave me.

  “Cara?” Roan asked. “You had enough?”

  Had I? I hated to think that this could be it. That I’d take the stairs to the ground and wait for Juan to find someone willing to drive out here to pick me up. By quitting partway through, I’d prove there were things I wasn’t capable of finishing, that I was willing to cave in to my fear, let it rule.

  No longer
.

  Panting with terror, I closed my eyes—blindfolding myself—and shouted for Jesus to release me.

  Each jump ripped another piece of my fear from my body.

  Overhead, my pulley screamed along the wire, a high-pitched raptor’s call. I gripped my bar tight. My hair slapped my cheeks. The wind rocked my body as I zipped across the valley at what had to be a billion miles an hour.

  Too fast. I was going too fast. My heartbeat was louder than thunder in my ears.

  Should I chicken out and use my glove to slow down? I shrieked, and the sound was dragged from my mouth, swept away on the wind.

  Take a chance.

  Peeking my eyes open, I caught the ground rushing below me, a blur of infinite green, and slammed my lids shut. I was certifiable. Foolish to take this risk.

  I was going to die.

  But I wanted to do this. For just once, I needed to stop worrying.

  Sometimes, to find yourself, you had to let everything else go. You had to put yourself out there and trust in the molecules around you to keep you safe.

  And you had to accept things you couldn’t control.

  I inhaled and pushed out my stress with the air. I yanked my hands off the bar. Leaning back in the harness, I stretched my arms out, reaching toward the heavens. And I opened my eyes, taking in the bright blue sky arching above me.

  Lush forests stretched in all directions for as far as I could see. The world around me vibrated with life.

  Shouting my joy at the top of my lungs, I flew like a bird.

  * * *

  The next morning, I drifted through a fantasy where I lay on something warm and firm. Since this was just my imagination, I snuggled deeper into my dream man’s arms, one of which was wrapped around my waist. His other hand stroked my bare thigh and teased the exposed skin of my butt. Sinking further into my dream, I ran my fingertips along his taut abdomen, tracing each ridge and ripple. Moving on to his hip. With my cheek pressed against his chest, I inhaled his scent. Kissed his bare skin and skimmed my tongue along his erect nipple.

  “Mmm.” If only this wasn’t a dream. But, unlike me, Roan was smart enough to realize we didn’t work as more than friends. And friends definitely didn’t slide their hands underneath PJ tops to stroke the other friend’s back. They also didn’t skim their knuckles along that friend’s breast and continue down to her waist.